Has Lidl done more for the people of Northern Ireland in 25 years than Stormont?

Lidl is celebrating 25 years in Northern Ireland. I remember going into one of the first Lidl stores in Belfast back in the day. It must have been twenty-odd years ago, and I was curious about what wonders this new shop would have.

I remember wandering the aisles and thinking, “This will never work.” The store had all the charm of a Yugoslavian cardboard factory. Stuff was piled up on pallets, there was a very plain decor, harsh over head lights, no music etc. Strangest of all were the products. I recognised nothing—none of the big brands we were used to. There was baked beans but they were not Heinz, there was Cornflakes but they were not Kelloggs. “No one is going to buy this cheap crap, I thought”.

Then, there was the pronounced lack of choice. I remember chatting in a bar one night to a fella who had grown up in East Germany. He told me that when he used to go to the supermarket as a kid, there would be one type of toothpaste, one type of washing powder, one type of sauce—you get the idea. I was reminded of the story as I wandered the aisles that day. Most supermarkets would have 50 to 100 types of toothpaste; Lidl then had one. And that was pretty much the story for everything – one type of pasta, one type of rice, one type of washing powder. The lack of choice was disconcerting, to say the least. Again, I thought, “Who is hell is going to shop here when there is no choice”?

What I did not realise back then was lots of very clever Germans had spent over 50 years refining the Lidl formula that have made it a success all over Europe.

People were rightly suspicious of own brand products as they tended to be rubbish. Who can remember the yellow-pack stuff from Crazy Prices back in the day? It was pretty much the mark of poverty. But there was something different about Lidl. Their baked beans were just as good as Heinz (I prefer then or Branston), but a third of the price. We are a frugal lot in Northern Ireland, and once people tried the stuff and found out the quality was pretty much identical in a lot of cases but a third or a quarter of the price, well, there was no going back.

The cost savings can be astonishing, particularly if you have kids. I visibly wince when my son squeezes too much of the 4-quid Heinz ketchup on his plate, but he can squeeze the Lidl 89p stuff with gay abandon. Lidl sells good products at a great price, and the customers reap the benefits. Instead of being ashamed of their own brand products, people started to boast about the cost savings, and soon, both the working and middle classes were happily shopping together.

The lack of choice turned out to be a plus. Too much choice can be bewildering. I have spent more time than I would like in a supermarket aisle trying to work out the difference between the 50 varieties of a product. With Lidl, you can be in and out in 15 minutes.

Then, there was the middle aisle, which really hooked us. The constantly rotating array of weird and wonderful products has a huge novelty factor that keeps us returning. I am confident the Lidl booklet must be the most-read publication in Northern Ireland. I look forward to seeing what wonders await each week.

The middle aisle ensures that you go in for some milk and come out with the most random stuff. Just yesterday, I came out with some Silicone liners for my air fryer (a bargain at £3.99), a huge fleecy blanket, and some running socks. Stories abound of people who go in for a loaf and come out with a welding kit of inflatable paddle boards.

Lidl continued to refine its offering. The stores became nicer, and they introduced the Deluxe range. They managed to pull off the astonishing retail impossibility of simultaneously competing with M&S and offering bargains side by side. They now stock some bigs brands, but I think they are only there to highlight just how much more expensive they are.

They do get some things wrong. While the in-store bakery is excellent, their packaged bread products are woeful. If Lidl is reading this, can you introduce a Deluxe Range of bread that tastes of something? I’m not too fond of their own brand of tea, and their washing-up liquid is nowhere near as good as Fairy.

Now, we turn our attention to another local institution that is also 25 years old – our local assembly at Stormont. I know it is very easy to put the boot into our utterly feckin’ useless local government but I have been really struggling to think of a single thing they have done to improve the lives of ordinary people in Northern Ireland. Stop some random punters in the street and ask them to list some of Stormont’s achievements, and you will get a lot of blank stares. You might get the ‘they brought peace’ line, but more than 25 years later, how long can they keep relying on that one? I mean, the French President never comes out and goes, “Sure, things might be tough, but we have peace with Germany”.

I know comparing local government to a supermarket chain is a bit facile, but the important point is that if you are an MLA, a Minister, or any of the army of civil servants who run this place and you can’t actually come up with specific examples of how you are making life better for people, then that’s a problem. Maybe it’s a communication issue; maybe there is loads of stuff they have done but just forgotten to tell us. Please let us know in the comments if you have any good examples of things we can give them credit for. Can the army of PR and media people of Stormont who now outnumber all local journalists combined, put their heads together and give us a list of good things Stormont has done for us?

Obviously, Lidl is not doing this for the good of their health, but this is one of the good examples of how the interests of capitalism and people coincide. You can’t underestimate that Lidl makes a real difference in the lives of families across Northern Ireland. For poorer members of our society, Lidl helps them put food on the table, booze in their bellies, nappies on their kids’ bums, clothes on their backs, and presents under the Christmas Tree.

I wonder if we could interest Lidl in diversifying into local government?

Let us know your favourite Lidl bargains. 

Brian O'Neill

I help to manage Slugger by taking care of the site as well as running our live events. My background is in business, marketing and IT. My politics tend towards middle-of-the-road pragmatism, I am not a member of any political party. Oddly for a member of the Slugger team, I am not that interested in daily politics, preferring to write about big ideas in society. When not stuck in front of a screen, I am a parkrun Run Director.