Does anyone know if Hugh does crystal balls, or tea leave reading too? If so, how much does he charge? Could be good for a laugh...

Has Hugh bugged the McCartney house? Hard to believe the PSNi could be that proactive.

Thank God Hugh's around to clear up these ambiguities for us, how did we manage without him ?

NEWS JUST IN: Orde believes IRA have closed links with those who murdered JFK. He can't prove it? Call it a hunch!

Why doesn't this ineffectual careerist pillock Orde kick his heels up and clear off home, almost day and daily it seems that he endeavours to persuade people of sense who actually live here and give a damn about the place that he knows what he's doing, that he's impartial and an honest broker and that we should invest our trust in him when his results are laughably poor and painfully expensive, when you're exponentially more likely to get a fine for driving at 32mph than you are to get your collar felt for raping a child or killing a pensioner and there he is patronising the common 5/8 by claiming to understand a conversation that he was not involved in, not has observed or listened to nor has read a transcript of.

Police intelligence, a contradiction in terms. Who do these silly little men in silly little uniforms think they bloody well are ?